Wheelchairs need cup holders.....

After a relatively good day of reflecting and being thankful,well it was another wake up call reminding us of the brutal task ahead. Friday started out bad and the rest of the weekend became progressively worse. Reenie had the almost paralyzing headaches return, along with a big dose of lower extremity pain. We were unable to attend our "turkey day" at Mike and Amy's on Friday because the pain was so intense it was nauseating. Saturday the headaches were worse so our oncologist wanted a ct scan of the head and brain. This was also the first day that Reenie was starting to lose her hair; a sure visual of the monster's return. The fear of this disease is really the unknown, is the treatment working?, are the cells spreading?, is this new pain more cancer?, well the unknown is pretty scary. The doctors have told us of the aggressiveness of this particular cancer so when they ask for each test we know what they are looking for more "C"cells. The ct scan came back negative, that beautiful word, negative. They wanted Reenie to spend the night to monitor pain and start an antibiotic just to make sure no infection was underlining the treatment. The pain was still intense so they prescribed an injection of the pain killer she was taking orally which seem to help the headaches but the back and leg pain was now becoming greater than the head pain. The back and leg aches are from the NEUPOGEN shots Reenie needs, to keep her white count up, which on arrival Saturday was 0.3 (4.8 and above is our normal range). The shots work but cause pain, a necessary tradeoff, until we get the pain meds tweaked. Sunday we expected to be released until the visit from the doctor coincided with nausea and vomiting most likely brought on by the injected pain killer Dilaudid. The doctor now unsure if it was the medicine or a contracted infection (this just in: the hospital is full of infection) wanted to continue the antibiotic and just to make sure have an MRI of the brain. With another test comes more uncertainty and fear. Reenie's Sunday may have been the most miserable day she has ever had, at least from my vantage point, I know it was tough for me to witness. With the fear of infection we didn't want visitors or flowers, probably a mistake on my part. Reenie missed her kids and that was heartbreaking, (this just in: the company of your children trumps any fear of infection). The MRI was to look for any small tumors that a ct scan doesn't see or any infection of the brain (gee maybe we could have had an MRI first..just a thought..again subject for another blog). This situation was all taking place on the eve of another chemo treatment, which once you start and believe this poison is working you DO NOT want to miss one. The MRI came back negative, again that beautiful word: negative, and we got to check out of the hospital and go directly to treatment. Do not pass go and do not collect $200, go directly to treatment. We are trying a new pain therapy the Fentanyl patch which stays on for 72 hours and is a time released medication. The doctors have been wonderful and attentive to our concerns and needs and that has been comforting, just need to control the pain. Well spending long days and nights in the hospital again gave us time to reflect, doing a lot of that lately. Watching high school football, miss those days of cheerleading and our friends boys playing, when you are hungry even hospital food taste good, hospitals need cable TV, Comcast what a PR move that would be huh?. Daytime TV makes you feel better about yourself and oh yeah wheelchairs should have cup holders.
Well thanks again to all, we know you were with us all weekend in spirit we appreciate that, came home from chemo to a fantastic meal from the Higgins thanks so much and dessert from Vito which was awesome you guys are great,
Love to all