Baseball led me to her

In the early 70’s, like 1970 and 1971 I was considered a Private but hung around the Publics you know when you go to a catholic school or public school.  I was off of school because of holy days and the like, I would wait for the publics to come home for lunch or the end of their school day, and I’d hang out at a friends, Mike Knight’s (a public) house with his dad. When the boys got out for lunch, we’d play running bases...I remember thinking these guys run a lot faster than I do.. I’m guessing it was because they had gym, I had religion. Any way, I was usually a base with Mr. Knight so the publics did most of the running. One of the publics, I didn’t know all the guys, they kept calling Mark Ward. But more about him later. Baseball was always a part of my life somehow, whether running bases with the publics, wiffle ball, little league or even fast pitch (when you spray painted a square on any building for our strike zone)…if it was nice out we played baseball, more about that later...

40 years ago this July, as a fifteen year old high school baseball player, I couldn’t get enough baseball.  Whether playing or watching, all I wanted to do was play ball. A Sunday in July I played ball against a friend of mine Gary Restko, I remember after the game hanging out in the outfield talking about whatever... A girl at the game caught my eye, she was with a little guy about 4 years old and a friend. I remember seeing her hopping because of stepping on glass or something, weird that I remember that, I’m guessing Gary and my conversation wasn’t that compelling cause I was distracted by this girl hopping…

A day or 2 after my baseball game, I was playing fast pitch with some old grammar school friends (the publics), we played against the wall at Bogan HS girls locker room.. again, weird I remember that...I have no idea who won that day because it never really mattered. I was approached after our game by a couple of girls that would eventually be the best girl friends of my life. They said they had a friend who wanted to meet me, (I learn to find out it was the girl who stepped on something at the baseball game) good thing they came along because there is a good chance I wouldn’t have approached her unless as a willing participant in some sort of baseball game. Maureen O’Dwyer (the friend of the hopping girl) and Debbie Smith said the friend thought I was an awesome baseball player. Well, no she didn’t, I guess it was that she thought I was cute or could use a friend something like that…

40 years ago, I met Reenie Marquardt... 34 years ago today I married her... baseball brought us together in a weird sort of way. I wasn’t that good at baseball- (serviceable they call it now a days)- you know like a base in running bases..oh, that Mark Ward guy..Marquardt... that’s what they were saying, he was the fast Public guy Dan Marquardt (the brother of the hopping girl at the baseball game). Mike Knight, he was the guy who that day got the fast pitch game together, it was nice out that day so we played baseball, and now I do know who won that day…ME ..I won that day I met the girl who I would marry, that I would raise 3 awesome kids with, enjoy grandchildren with and today on our anniversary I have to decide how to say good bye to. I guess this where I need that religion class to help me more than any gym class ever could. I need the strength from our God to make the right decisions.. the strength to hold my family together… the strength to tell Reenie’s family and friends how much they meant to her…God I am going to need your help…

Reenie has fought the good fight, and she wants to fight some more, the problem is her body is unable to continue as her mind and heart would like. The strongest person many of us have known hopes she has taken one for the team, she know this seems unfair but she has said many times she hopes that because of her fight, her friends and family will never have to go through this that she is that one- in- whatever that has this diagnosis. The support group has been amazing through this battle and it is because of them she has endured as she received strength from them she was inspiring all of us.  The support team (the team she hopes she took one for the team for) of The Dea and Julie Murray, The sister-in-laws Cathy, Lori, Jennifer and Amy, The High School girls Maureen, Nancy, Peggy, Debbie, Jean and Denise, the Cheer moms Brenda, Carole, Gail, Linda, Pat, Kathy, Renee, Noreen,Eileen, Jean, Terri and Debbie, The High School girls part 2 Debbie, Michele, Laura and Rhonda, the cousins Terry, Patti, Eileen,Marybeth, Kathy, Colleen, Julie, Maureen, Mary,Aunt Shirley and Aunt Betty, and Joyce and the husbands of all. Her brothers Danny, Jimmy, Tommy and Mike have always there for her for she was the princess of the family. Dave Massat her chemo driver for 3 plus years, Bob "the flower guy" who came every Tuesday for 3 plus years, this group was instrumental in providing our family with dinners, rides, and a gift here and there to make Reenie just a little more comfortable. We can’t get over the love you gave our amazing mom, grandmother and wife, YOU helped us gain almost 7 years of comfort and love for our family.

 

Baseball won’t help me today.  My faith, family and friends will be my strength now, and I wouldn’t have any of you if it wasn’t for Reenie...

To Reenie; I have figured out I’m not going to say good bye, I’ll just say good night I love you and thank you , my parents adopted me from Ireland and brought me to the US in Sept 1958 the month and year you were born, you married me in March of 1979 and brought me into your world…YES I won that day I definitely won…

 

But today I have to take her home and start hospice home care, today is a tough day, it’s as tough a day for Shannon, Vito, Kris, Josh, Nathan, Gavin, Ryan, Krystal, Koren and Dea as you can imagine, we will need each other and our support group listed above. As tough as this is it doesn’t start to compare to what Reenie has been enduring and she alone has taught us all how to handle difficulties in life with such strength and grace…

Our family is so thankful for the amazing health care team Reenie has had on her side these past 6 years... Dr Gracias, Linda,... Dr Baridi, Meaghan Turner, Stephanie, Seema and Terry-the PA's, Cathy, Debbie 1, Debbie 2, Toni, Margaret, Joanne, Brian,..Dr Lyon, Scott and Melissa- PA's...All of her nurses, doctors, and PA's have treated her like family, but again, thats the effect she has on people... When you meet her, you love her, and thats all there is to it.

Thank you for indulging me as I rambled on and struggled with how to deal with the unknown at hand and ahead....Thank you

Love to all Tom

 

An intravenous bolus with a piggy back for 2 please

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all of our friends and family. As we enter the new year it is also the end of Reenie's first cycle with her new chemo drug Gemzar, we have no official results or findings yet but clinical exams have shown no progression so we are very hopeful that this is our magic bullet to finally rid her body of the monster. Reenie has tolerated this drug fairly well, we have missed a outing here and there because of fatigue, bone and back pain but we were able to enjoy the Christmas holiday with family and friends and look forward to bringing in the New Year as babysitters to our early Christmas presents Nathan and Koren. Our cancer ninja has now been in treatment for 26 months and her goal has not wavered she is determined to keep up the good fight and continue to be an inspiration to all that know of her battle.

Two weeks ago I took a blood test for insurance purposes at work, I received the results the next day and noticed there were a lot of red highlighted numbers (kinda like my grades in school RED marks...not good). I called my doctor to discuss the results and made an appointment the next day....well 3 blood tests and a bone marrow biopsy chaser and I have a Leukemia. The weird thing I really haven't flinched (maybe I should) I guess I immediately felt I can do this...I just hope I can do this with the grace that my wife does. I look at what she has been through, what she is going through ...I will be fine, with her as my inspiration and role model..I will be more than fine. The diagnosis I have is CML the best of all the "Ls" Chronic Myloid Leukemia, I will be able to take my chemo orally and expect little side effects, this is probably the most treatable leukemia, so as we look for the good news, treatable is our good news. With my issue being treatable and being hope full Renie's new drug is the answer we are looking forward to 2012. Love to all and a VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR......the Haas'

The badge of cancer

    November 2009 Reenie was diagnosed with recurrent breast cancer, the news was devastating as you could imagine. She was considered cancer free for about 2 years and 5 months, but looking back it most likely came back sometime within those 5 months, so for a little more than 2 years Reenie put the monster to rest, a feat that our cancer ninja is DETERMINED to repeat. The chemo drug Xeloda which Reenie has been on for the last 3 months is giving us mixed reviews. The tumor markers have increased the last 2 months so last Friday our oncology team had Reenie under go a PET scan to get a better determination of how the cancer was reacting to the drug, here is where the mixed reviews come in, the cancer which had shown an increase in the lymph node and chest wall a month ago showed a slight decrease in activity and size (good news). The tumors in the skin area and abdomen showed a slight increase in activity and the changes on the skin were also visible (bad news). The side effects from this drug were starting to create serious problems also, toward the end of each weeks treatment Reenie would suffer so much pain in her hands and feet it would at times bring her to tears, I have seen her go through so much without a complaint so if it brought her to tears it had to be brutally painful. The fact that this medicine was causing so much discomfort and we were getting mixed results, well it became time for a change in our chemotherapy regimen.

    The Wednesday after Thanksgiving Reenie will start a new chemo drug Gemzar, the fear as always with starting a new drug is how is the body going to react to a new poison. We are hopeful the side effects will be tolerable, but we do expect the white count to be an issue so it may mean back to getting the Nupragen shots each week to help fight infection and keep the white count level elevated. The trade off here will probably be now that Reenie is off Xeloda the pain and peeling in her hands and feet should subside but the Nupragen shots usually causes severe bone pain, but this is nothing our warrior can't handle. Reenie has had some emotional weeks as of late, the pain, the visual findings of skin tumors and the waiting for test results, and yet she still manages to help with watching Nate when babysitting duties call, take Koren to a movie because she couldn't disappoint a child, she amazes and fights every day to live a somewhat normal life, and never ever a "Why me" that is truly unbelievable.  In fact she has the opposite of a "Why me" attitude, Reenie has accepted her badge of cancer, what I mean by this I will try to explain..... The last few weeks 2 woman very close to Reenie have had to under go some extensive testing, any time extra testing is needed its scary for all. When I was breaking the news to Reenie about a friend who was having some tests done Reenie broke down for her friend and sister in-law.  Reenie's thoughts are now "Why them" not "Why me"  Reenie wears the badge now so no one else has too, her feeling is "OK I have breast cancer that's enough for my family and friends"....She wears the badge for all of us

Keep the prayers and thoughts coming...Happy Thanksgiving ...we all have so much to be thankful for
We are blessed with wonderful family and freinds who are helping each day with this journey...thank you

Nathan Robert Hill and Koren and Xeloda

Wow I can't believe it has been so long since I've posted an update I should have my journalist card taken away, it's not like we haven't had any news. I guess I can blame it on summer, a new baby, too much work but I really don't have a good excuse not to keep the updates coming. My new month's resolution is to do a better job on this blog. Our warrior has had quite the last few months, the peaks and valleys continue, our family was blessed on June 3rd with a beautiful 9lb 6oz baby boy, Nathan Robert Hill was born to Kristen and Josh and just to keep things interesting he didn't make it easy on mom and dad. Kris endured 16 hours of being induced only to have a c-section delivery. The long delivery, plus position of baby and size was rough on Kris who started to hemorrhage hours after the delivery, a scary time for all. Today baby and mom are doing great. I can't begin to explain how this has changed our lives, boy Reenie needed some good things to happen. Reenie was a huge help during the labor and now as her grandmothers duties have kicked in. It is quite amazing to see how Nathan has boosted Reenies spirits. Ryan's new girlfriend Krystal has a beautiful daughter Koren who we have been blessed to spend a lot of time with this summer. Koren and Reenie absolutely love each others company so much you would think they have known each other forever, this also has brightened our warriors days and has helped in the healing process, as our friends and family continue their unending support there really is nothing like a child's smile, hugs or kisses that help melt away your problems.

    This August marks the 22nd month that Reenie has been in treatment for the recurrence of the beast that is breast cancer. The strength one must have to endure almost 2 years of infusion chemotherapy (poison) is mind boggling, that strength comes from family, her friends and now more magical powers from the new little people in her life. Last week Reenie started a new chemo drug because the last one she was on for exactly one year became resistant to the cancer. Progression was found in 2 spots so the fear we live with everyday was realized and we needed to start a new treatment. Our couragous fighter started Xeloda last Monday which is an oral drug that is taken for 14 straight days, with 7 days off this is considered a cycle. During this time she will also recieve a dose of Avastin that is an infusion drug given every other week, this is a targeted drug to deplete the cancer cells of blood.  Xeloda's purpose is to shrink and eliminate the tumors.

   We are blessed in so many ways, even with all that Reenie is going through we do find many positives each day, thank you for all your prayers and thoughts..another blessing that has come out of our situation is Reen has reconnected with another group of high school friends that have made sure that Reenie has kept up her strength for this ongoing battle with lunches and meals, Debbie,Rhonda, Michele and Laura thank you so much your help this summer can not be measured.

Love to all......and believe!!!!

Blessed in so many ways, need 1 more......

November 2009 the breast cancer came back and we looked forward to springtime 2010 when treatment would be complete, we encountered a few turns and twist along the way but through it all Reenie has stayed strong, gracious and beautiful. Springtime 2010 has turned into springtime 2011 and still our warrior is battling the beast. A month or so ago I wrote that stable was the magic word in our progress and as we visited with our oncologist a few days later stable was the word he also used. The feeling was that this chemotherapy treatment was slowing down the progression of cancer cells and that was good, the thought also was that we may not get to total remission and that chemo would most likely be a course of action indefinitely. This was disappointing but also a positive that we could keep the cancer from progressing with this treatment and this drug was tolerable for Reenie as she has built a tolerance for the pain and fatigue. The proof that Reenie was handling this was never more apparent than this last week. Sunday March 6th we were surprised with a 32nd wedding anniversary party with some family and friends, it was an awesome evening hosted by the Massats and Lykes. Since the party Reenie has shown signs of her old self, wanting to get out more, turning on her grandma mode and looking forward to a trip given to her from her "high school" friends, this has been a great week. Well springtime means the amusement parks are opening and that means someone has fired up the roller coaster. We received news this week that her latest tumor markers have shown an increase, the numbers went up about 15% which is now 2 months in a row with increases and that has alarmed the doctors. Last month the increase was very minimal but now a second month of raised markers brings concern that this tolerated drug may have become resistant, so much for the great week. After consulting with our oncologist today Reenie needs to have a PET scan to determine what the raised markers mean. Until then we are staying on this treatment and expect to have the test done next week with results and decisions made by the end of the month. The treatment could be altered to a higher dose or more frequent, it also could be changed completely which is the unknown that we are afraid of. The new treatment brings possible side effects that are not as tolerable and also a feeling of we are back at square one. So for now we wait for the test and it's results and we stay the course, so as we continue this journey we pray that the results are favorable to continue this treatment and hope that the roller coaster ride this spring is more like the shuttle from the parking lot than the American Eagle. Thanks to all who helped celebrate our anniversary and thanks for the continued support and prayers (our warrior needs them all)

Love Reen and Tom

Stable is good, we'll take stable

My updates have been scarce, far and few between, I guess I'll blame it on writers block. Now that I am a novelist, ok well composer, ok just a writer, I find I need a hook or something remarkable to write about, to get me motivated to sit down at the computer and start talking out loud. That remarkable something is Reenie, we haven't had much news lately so when anyone asks "how's Reenie" or what's new with Reen the word that I have thoughtfully come up with is "stable" creative huh. As I say stable I think to myself blah, that's such a bland non-descript word..stable..but when it comes to cancer and treatment stable is not bad. Stable means the tumor markers have not changed much in the last couple cycles, stable means the PET scan last month was good, cancer is still present but it has not spread. I keep holding out waiting to write that blog that states we are doing better than stable. I hope that my tardiness in writing blogs hasn't changed your attitude about our warrior, she still needs those prayers and well wishes. Reenie has been in treatment for 16 months, parts of three years, 68 infusion treatments (chemo and hydration) and upwards of 175 nupregen shots in her stomach. Needless to say Reenie is hurting, physically and emotionally, missing out on the things we take for granted, simple things. So as we deal with the deep freeze and long for spring, seeing our lawns ,baseball and babies think of our fighter, say a prayer and if you get a chance drop a line, we need to keep her spirits up and keep her fighting the good fight...she has a grandson coming this spring another of God's blessings and she will need her strength.
 Love to all

My WISH for you

My last blog had the title of a December to Remember...that was an understatement. On Saturday December 18th our fighter had some family and friends come by the house for some holiday cheer. The group was on hand to witness quite the spectacle, the Tinley community came out to help one of their own our Pink Warrior. Reenie was nominated and chosen as a recipient of Tinley Wish this year. A parade of 30 plus vehicles and 100 plus members of our community, Police, Fire fighters, village trustees, village employees, citizens from Tinley Park, and some past year recipients paid a visit to Reenie and her family, they came with sirens blaring, lights flashing and marched through our house presenting Reenie and her family with gifts to help make this a wonderful holiday season and for a time forget the struggles of the past 14 months. They succeeded. Lt Ken Roemer along with Reenie's cousin Eileen sponsored Reenie for the special day they felt that because our warrior has been in treatment and unable to work for over a year that she deserved a special day. I have been trying to wrap my head around the huge undertaking that this program takes on every year and I am amazed at what a life changing event this program provides, it changed ours. I don't think it is the material benefits we received from this that will stay with us as much it will be the out pouring of love that was experienced that day in our home. We know how lucky this family is that we have an amazing support group, from our family and friends, now our community has let us know that we are not alone in this battle. It may be a call from New Jersey or Texas, a letter from Florida , beautiful well wishes from Kentucky or a prayer from California our Pink Warrior knows she has the support of so many, this is what keeps her strong, keeps her fighting and keeps her winning. I know I have become redundant in my thanks to all of our support group but it is heartfelt, each one of you have managed to make our Christmas this year a special one. May God bless everyone in the upcoming year and may all your WISHES come true. A special thanks to our photographers, Megan Casey and Erin Stefanik, I'm working on the slide show.
Love Reenie, Tom and family